Boy Without A Heart
by smileyboo101
Summary: "I love a boy without a heart..." The song Buttercup used to try to get Butch to truly understand. But will he?
1. Chapter 1

**I needed some inspiration so I did a few one-shots. I think I might do more to this in the future but, HERE YA GO! Song by JoJo- Boy Without A Heart :)**

* * *

After graduating from highschool and awakening myself, I realized that I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to be in that spotlight. Letting go of my tomboy roots and the hatred I held with myself for so long. After letting it go, I fell for Butch. It took some time for us to put things in the past and look toward out future. I think I've completely moved on from our past, but there's something in Butch that tells me differently. Some days I feel that there's no love there. Nothing but that past.. I see it everyday because he's on tour with me, but I don't know. At this point in our relatioship, I feel that I can tell him anything but this is something different. This could change the whole game. I don't want to be without him, but he continues to treat me like this...Than I feel that he doesn't deserve me. I've tried countless times to get through to him but he acts as if I'm obserd and don't see anything wrong. But I do and I want thiings to change or...I'll leave.

"Ok, BC you're on in 5" My stage manager was informing me. I was pacing backstage trying to get my vocals in line. Yes this is a concert and i think that this is the best way to tell Butch how I feel. The fans at this point didn't bother me. Their screams and chants do nothing but excite me and encourage me. Giving me the strengh to tell him. I'm just worried about his response. I stopp pacing once I get a signal for me to walk onstage. I take a deep breath and exhale as I move towards the center of the stage. As I walk toward the stage, the cries and screams of excitment make me smile.

"MIAMI!" The crowd goes wild. "I love it here, the beach, the sun and the hot boys..." More excitement coming from the crowd. " I can't talk, because there IS someone special in my life but I just think he doesn't realize what he has. He better realize before it's no longer there... Isn't that right ladies!" I signal the band to start playing, "Babe, this is for you" I slowly breath in and out preparing...

_I love a boy without a heart._

_I'm but a string on his guitar._

_He would never know that I'm in pain._

_Waiting for a song that he can't play._

_I was confident the night we met,The moment was strong._

_Like a piece of bubblegum, sweet at first but it don't last long._

_Now that I'm filled with insecurities, It's time to spit you out._

I searched the crowd with hopes of finding Butch...

_'Cause you, you'll never change._

_The games that you play, It's just who you are._

_And I have to believe, It's you and not me._

_The boy without a heart._

_Yaaaaaayyyyaaaayyy._

After the first chorus, I FINALLY found his forrest green eyes in the swimming crowd. I looked directly in his eyes and sang directly to him.

_I love a boy who doesn't feel._

_Believes what he says until it's real._

_All that I want, you can be._

_ But you can not pretend that long for me._

_I was beautiful the day we met. _

_But now I'm not so sure._

_Awkward and alone you, You don't make me feel sexy anymore._

_I'm snapping myself out of it, I gotta close this door. _

As I sing I feel the words really starting to sink in...

_'Cause you, you'll never change. _

_The games that you play, It's just who you are._

_And I have to believe, It's you and not me._

_The boy without a, the boy without a,The boy without a heart._

I am so into these words right now, I feel something in me. Another verse that I felt in me, the band did not expect it BUT that's what live performances are all about. Eventually the band caught my drift and my back-up singers knew exactly what was going on.

_Oooooooo_  
_I just like to think that I,_

_Deserve a nice respectable guy,_

_ so why am I here at your door?_

_If I was sane, I'd take my crazy behind, And get back in my BMW._

_ 'Cause I'm a self-made woman, and someone's gonna treat me better than you do ._

_I just needa, I just need ta calm down._

I left myself go on that one but I don't regret it. My fans feel what's going through me, I sense it in their engery but I wonder does Butch understand? I was completely out of breath , luckily my back-up singers knew where to step in. I filled in some parts but I was getting too into it, I needed to pull back. Letting everything go, wasting too much energy on one song, that's a bad idea...

_'Cause you, you'll never change._

_The games that you play, It's just who you are._

_And I, have to believe, It's you and not me._

_The boy without a heart, the boy without a, the boy without a heart_

_'Cause you, you'll never change._

_The games that you play, __It's just who you are._

_And I, have to believe ,It's you and not me._

_The boy without a heart._

After a while I felt like the crowd hated it, because I didn't get a response. I placed the mic back on the stand and looked up at them and they went crazy. I smiled thinking 'Great way to start the show, BC'...

* * *

"I want to thank each and every one of you tonight for coming out. You were the best crowd, I LOVE YOU MIAMI!" I gave a quick wave before walking backstage and instantly people are reaching for me. Some to pull away my mic, some for interviews, some for other things but i just kept walking. That's when I saw him. Butch was leaning against the wall, watching me. I couldn't read the expression on his face, that troubled me. I stopped and took in a deep breath, preparing myself for something deep and unknown. I stride towards him. "What did you think of the show?"

"Overall? One of your best. One flaw? The beginning. I don't know that direct hit towards me seemed off. I didn't know you felt like that and if you did then that definately was NOT the way to do it. Pubically? Really? Do you know what the press is gonna do with that performance?" I starred at Butch in disbelief. He was more worried about what other people had to say about our realtionship then what i had to.

"Did you listen to the words of the song, Butch? "

"Yeah i heard, you were looking directly at me, How could I not hear?"

"Obviously you didn't" I noticed everyone on set had their eyes on us so I had to wrap this up. "So let me sum everything up for you. Either you get yourself together and treat me right. Or there is no more us' With that I walked away, leaving Butch standing there dumb-founded.

I went on to do interviews, sign and take a few pictures for my fans but at the end of the day i have to get back on my tour bus with Butch. Thankfully Miami was my last stop, so I'm on my way home. I was so exhausted I just got on the bus and went straight for the couch. Walking straight past Butch, only because I had nothing to say to him. I said all I had to say, hell, I even wrote him a freakin song! I'm tired of talking to him, I want actions. I want change from him.. I lay there on the couch with my hat covering my eyes and a water bottle dangling in my hands. I knew I was a heartbeat away from sleep, but when Butch asked me the most idotic question, I quickly perked up. "Do you want to break-up?". I just starred at him. He looked as if he has been thinking about this since our last conversation, I knew this was taking a toll on him. Just...why does he not get it..

"Butch, I don't wanna talk about this right now. I just did a show, interviews and stuff. All i want to do is rest.."

"How can you rest when our realationship is on the line?'

"Oh now you give a damn about our realationship? I have been telling you that YOU have changed. You don't treat me the same Butch. YOU CHANGED NOT ME. I miss the old you. The Butch that would give me a massage after a big show or do anything in his power to make me smile when something wasn't going right with the stage. The guys that was always there to support me. He's gone. I want him back. I've been trying and trying to bring him back. That song tonight was my LAST attempt to bring him back, is he coming back?" Butch's head fell into his hands and he let out a grunt and went to the room in the back of the bus. I laid back down on the couch. 'Guess I'm not sleeping in my bed tonight...'


	2. Chapter 2

**By popular demand I have decided to continue on with this... Hope you enjoy. Love and War by Tamar Braxton. Song request? PM me :)**

* * *

"Ok BC, i just want you to go straight through. Give it your all. Let me know when you're ready" I nodded at my producer through the glass as I adjusted my headset. I practiced my breathing as I quickly prepared for a recording. I nodded towards my producer as the music started.. I let the music flow through me as I listen to the music began. Remembering the emotions I felt when I first wrote the song. Letting those emotions consume me and pull me back to that time... Anger, sadness, lonely, yet hope...

_Somebody said everyday was gon' be sunny skies._

_Only Marvin Gaye and lingerie, I guess somebody lied._

Soft velvet sheets lay beneath me as I left Butch beside me. His muscular arm draped around my bare waist. The sun bore through the curtains and straight onto the bed. I lay back down as I remember last night's events. The yelling, screaming all ending in sweet love-making. A smile crept onto my face fell as Butch began to stir under the sheets. i look over to him only to see him looking back at me. "Good Morning" His voice was deep and husky, just the way I loved it. My only reply was to move over a bit and leave a sweet delicate kiss on his soft sultry lips. As i pulled away he moved closer, trapping my lips. I grabbed his face, pulling him down with me. He moved closer and wrapped him arms around me, deepening the kiss. I let everything go as I allowed him entrance. Just as I felt his hands roam, my phone beeped. He quickly pulled away, "This is where we stop".

"No it's not" I caught him in a kiss and pulled him back down. i rolled us over, so I was on top and dominant. I felt him smile against our kiss. I fought for dominance in our tongue war, but ultimately lost as Butch flipped us again. He was now on top and landed sweet kissed down my collar-bone, my chest, between my breast , down to my belly then back up the way he came. Sending shivers everywhere he left his soft lips. Soft moans managed to escape my lips, but were silenced as Butch find them. It's not like we had much clothing on anyways. He reached for my bra strap but was quickly interrupted by the opening of my door. We quickly broke apart to see my producer standing in the doorway.

"BC, are we really going through this again? It's like the third time this week. You two fight, break shit then end up having sex at the end of the night. Then I end up finding you two nearly fucking the next day. I tired of this!"

"Then stop finding us..."Dylan stood in my doorway with his hands crossed over his chest. His grey eyes glaring at me. I didn't say anything as I pushed Butch off me and got up to get my robe. I was in straight lingerie, not that Dylan cared. He wasn't playing for my team, if you know what I mean. I walked over to the door, leaning on it."I'm sorry Dil. I'll be down in a minute, promise" I gave him a genuine smile as I shut the door behind me. I turned to see Butch sitting on the bed, his face clear of all emotion. 'Sorry about that. Now where were we?" I practically threw myself at him and he gently pushed me away. I gave him a questioning look, but knowing what this was really about.

"I love how your manager has a key to your house but your boyfriend of 6 years doesn't" I slowly back up from Butch, looking directly in his eyes.

"You know the only reason is because I record from the inside of my house. That's it. Nothing personal strictly business." He got up from the bed and started to gather his clothes.

"Nice to know, but that still doesn't answer the question of why I don't have a key. I practically stay here"

"Just because you have a few items of clothing here and some personal belongings, that does not mean you stay here"

"Is it that, or do you just not want me here?" He was starting to get angry, I could see it in his eyes. I had no response, truly speechless. "Ever since the tour, I've tried to change but why change if there's no reward!'

"Well damn, what type of reward do you want? You want a cookie? There's some downstairs"

"You know what I mean Buttercup." He said my real name. Things have just gotten serious.

"Butch, tell me what effort you've put in." He looked away in thought. We stood there for minutes until I couldn't take the silence anymore. "My point exactly. You can't even name one thing you've done. Na-da, nothing, zip zap."

"Then why are you with me?" My eyes widened as I stared at him. did he really...? I opened my mouth to chew him alive but quickly closed it. If he can't see it then maybe he's right.

"I don't know" I tied my robe around me and looked around me. Simply avoiding his eyes.

_We started discussing it to fighting then don't touch me please._

_To let's stop the madness, just come lay with me._

_And Truth be told, I'm waving my flag before it goes bad._

"Are you serious right now? How can you say something like that?" His voice rising as his anger flares.

"How could you ask something like that? What kind of person do you think I am?" At this point I was starting to get kind of angry as well. He starts something out of nothing. If he wanted a key then I want a ring. I'm tired of doing things out-of-order. My life needs order and if he wanted to be a part of it then I needed security that he wasn't gonna leave...

"I don't know what kind of person you are anymore..."

"Don't start that Butch. I'm not the one that changed !"I yelled that last part.

"I'm trying!" He yelled back. I turned away from him, tears threatening my eyes. My shoulders began to shake against my will. I felt Butch wrap his arms around me, pulling me closer. Resting his chin on my shoulder, hugging me.

I pushed him away, "Don't touch me". He wouldn't let me go, yet he turned me around so I was facing him. He placed his forehead on mine and looked me directly into my eyes.

"I'm trying and I wouldn't stop until you are completely satisfied. I give you my oath." This made me smile. I stood of my tippy-toes and kissed Butch on the lips. I heard some true honesty behind his words, and that's exactly what I wanted. Maybe I'll get what I truly want. A ring.

_Guess we made it this far on for better or for worse._

_I want to feel it even if it hurts._

_If I gotta cry to get to the other side._

_Let's go cause we gon' survive, oh._

Butch left for work and i went into the studio to meet up with Dylan. He was sitting in his usual seat, making a beat for my new song. I sat on the couch, unaware if he knows I'm in here. I cleared my throat and he turned to face me. "Don't clear your throat at me, I know you're in here."

"I'm sorry about this whole week, but you know how things get." Dylan seemed to turn away not listening to what I was saying. He only does that when something is wrong... "Dil, what's up?"

"Have you been on any websites lately?" I shook my head in response. "There's multiple sites saying that Butch is having an affair with your back-up dancer Monroe" He slowly looked back at me, waiting for a response. I know Butch and Monroe have always had this tension between them. Now that I think about it...I would classify it as sexual tension. I don't know why I didn't put the pieces together earlier... "Are you okay? I've never seen you like this."

"Um, I think I need some time off." I gathered my stuff and quickly got up.

"We don't have time for this. The label wants everything recorded by next Monday. We onl-" I didn't hear anything else because I slammed the door behind me as I left on the search to find Butch.

* * *

He was at his office, and I quickly got there. As i sat in my limo I looked at some of the sights. There were pictures of them together, everywhere. I nostrils flared as I thought of them together. I made my way through the building into his office to see him sitting at his desk, looking all professional. I closed the door behind me, "Hey babe, is something wrong?"

"Yeah, are you cheating on me?" He looks at me with wide eyes. i don't know if he's surprised he got caught or if i came to his office with such a absurd idea.

"No" That's all he said as if that was it.

"Then why-" He cut me off.

"Why are you questioning me further? You asked me an idiotic question and I responsibly answered it. Do you not believe me?"

"Of course I do"

"Do you trust me?"

"Y-Yes"

"You hesitated'

"I was unsure"

"Then you don't trust me"

"I'm unsure"

"I guess 6 going on 7 years, isn't enough for you" I looked away from him. "i feel like this situations goes beyond me not trying. I've tried and it shows, but you don't want to let me in. After all this time we're getting to such a good place, you don't want to believe it. You won't let our relationship go to the next level" . I turned around to walk out.

"I'll see you at home" As i left his building I slowly began to cry. He was right. I was doing this to us, I was pushing him away...

_We stay on the frontlines._

_Y__eah but we're still here after the bomb drops._

_We go so hard, we lose control._

_The fire starts, then we explode._

_When the smoke clears, we dry our tears._

I worked in the studio with Dylan the rest of the day. Writing and recording song after song. Sending out samples for collaborations and setting dates for interviews. "You did good work tonight, BC. I feel like you deserve dinner on me" I smiled at Dylan's invitation.

"That sounds perfect'

"Good, let me go home and change and I'll be back to pick you up" Dylan left the studio and I went up to my room. I went into my closet to find something to wear, only to hear my door click. I poked my head out to see Butch coming in.

"You going somewhere?"

"Yes, actually. Dylan invited me to dinner." He rolled his eyes and got settled on the bed.

"And you accuse ME of cheating..." I step out of my closet and right in front if Butch.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

"You come to my office, rising question from my coworkers. Got reporters coming to me and shit. And you had the audacity to ask me if I was cheating on you!"

"Well Butch when you have hard evidence like that, then YEAH. I'm gonna ask you. NEVER has Dylan pulled me aside about something personal unless he saw it as a real threat to me"

"Oh so he told you. GREAT! He talks to you more than I do!"

"HE'S MY MANAGER! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT!"

"i EXPECT YOU TO STAND BY YOUR MAN!"

_Only in love and war._

"HOW CAN I BE YOUR WOMAN WITHOUT A RING!?"

_Sometimes you're my general._

_You quarterback all these plays._

_Sometimes you're my enemy,and I'm throwing grenades._

_We'll just be chillin' and laughing, and laying on your chest._

_Don't know what happen, cause things just went left._

_But here we go back down that road._

_That's just the way that it goes._

"YOU EXCEPT A RING WHEN YOU COME TO ME WITH BULLSHIT ABOUT ME CHEATING ON YOU?! WE CAN'T GET MARRIED IF YOU DON'T TRUST ME." Butch and I were neck and neck. I looked into his hard eyes and I let mine soften. I couldn't take it. My head and heart were at war and my emotions weren't helping. Something in me KNEW he was cheating, but...my heart was telling me differently. I loved him, I knew it. Yet, something was missing. Something was in the way of us...

_ Guess we made it this far on for better or worse._

_I want to feel it even if it hurts._

_If I gotta cry to get to the other side, __as long as you're there I'll survive, oh._

_ We stay on the frontlines, yeah but we're still here after the bomb drops._

_We go so hard, we lose control._

_The fire starts, then we explode._

_When the smoke clears, we dry our tears._

_Only in love and war._


End file.
